Episode 3: In Which Jay Adventures to Springfield and the Southern Alps

Last time, on Keep Calm and Joust On:

Jay learned the secret art of the Wasjig, met his flatmates, became an international film superstar, single-handedly ate some fries, shuffled a deck of cards, met Jesse the "Jinger", and was proposed to by a crazy Welsh woman. We call her Welshy.

Simpsons, Alps, and Friends! Oh, my!

As a precursor to our first big adventure we went to a touristy museum/zoo filled with incredible birds, the goofiest pigs I've ever seen, white deer, kiwi birds (too cool), gigantic eels (ever pet an eel?), and a type of lizard that has been around so long it is technically classified as a dinosaur. Know what that means? I SAW A DINOSAUR GUYS.  A REAL DINOSAUR. We learned a Haka, learned some culture, and ate some goddamn delicious Maori food. Sure it was a total tourist spot, but, we're tourists. So there. 

The next day we really started out. Accompanied by our program director and our guide (a large, mysterious, bald Japanese man who would only go by the name "Hedge") we packed into a van and drove out towards Arthur's Pass, taking a left at Albuquerque, and ended up in Springfield, New Zealand. Before reaching Springfield we took a stop, in Narnia.

By Narnia, I mean Castle Rock. Castle Rock is an area used in the recent Narnia films to film several epic battle scenes. I WENT TO NARNIA GUYS. The thing about places used for epic battles in films is that they are even more epic in real life. The whole grassy knoll of the area was littered with colossal boulders that we could scramble up and down and all around, even jump from one to another in some spots. To really understand you've got to realize that each boulder was anywhere between 10 and 100 feet tall, one or two might have been even higher. Now imagine hundreds of them. Each was conveniently carved by the wind to have small passageways and ledges so it was easy to go from one to another. The place was just a giant natural playground, I could have spent days exploring and playing but we had to go…to Springfield.

While Springfield is common name for a city or town in the states, thus the butt of the joke for The Simpsons, here there is only one Springfield and the locals take a bizarre pride in the town name - so much so they erected a giant concrete replica of the pink-frosted donut from The Simpsons in the town center. The pub also made a big deal of serving Duff beer. The town was tiny, when I say "the pub" I mean there was only one pub; the whole town was practically just a main street of shops that served as pit stops and gear-rentals for passersby heading into the mountains. We spent the night at a hostel, more amazing food, and we also went to the packed pub and watched a real NZ rugby match on the TV - there is quite the eclectic bunch that seems to turn out for rugby games.

In the morning we headed toward the towering Southern Alps, gorgeous snow-capped mountains. Hedge would point to each peak and say in broken english: "See that? I've ski that. Good skiing up there." We took a jet boat tour through the hills and into a canyon - which was awesome. Basically a jet boat is a motor boat on steroids. We flew through the canyon at about 60 to 70 mph, doing some Tokyo-drift action around turns, whipping by the rock walls sometimes just inches away from collision. Just for kicks, our captain would occasionally cut the wheel into a water-skid and spin donuts the same way you might spin donuts with a car in an icy parking lot. We also stopped occasionally and he would explain some of the history of the area: things like proposed dams, wildlife issues, and earthquake damage. Seeing actual fault lines close up is an awe-inspiring thing, especially since feeling earthquakes is still a pretty new concept to me. Seeing the giant gashes and fissures that can spilt those massive canyon walls can really put quakes into perspective.

After jet boating back up the canyon, this time nearly getting acquainted with the other side of the rock walls, we stepped back onto shore with the biggest damn smiles plastered all over our faces. The adrenaline and speed along with the cold water and winds might have frozen those smiles there for a while longer than we thought. We then went further into the mountains, along steep dirt roads in our dingy little van, to a sheep farm. We saw a pretty sweet sheep herding demonstration (way cooler than it sounds), got to shear a sheep, played with the smartest border collies I've ever seen, and ate some more delicious food. The lamb was especially good. Oh, and Hedge played the guitar. We were BFFs at this point. On our way back towards Christchurch we stopped scare some sheep and visited a cool cave. We were not equipped to go spelunking but we still could admire the underground from the exit cavern: the cave ran about a mile through rock from entrance to exit, carved out by a crystal clear stream. At some point I'd love to go caving, sounds a lot like draining in Rochester, but I'll need some gear for that. 

We finally rolled back to the city, bid Hedge farewell, and went back to business.

Man, Hedge was such a legend. I miss that dude. At one point we cut down a tree together. Good times.

- Jay

Interlude 1: In Which Jay Reaches His Personal Goal of Watching Over 1000 Features.

Three years ago, I graduated high school with no idea what my life would become. First, I tried my luck with engineering at WPI. Didn't work out much. I decided to try a different subject in Rochester, assuming that I'd just figure it out when I got there. In a fever dream the morning of my last Physics II final at WPI, I had an epiphany. Of sorts. I knew that to be happy with my work I would have to sink my teeth into the english program at U of Rochester. This led me inevitably into taking film classes and I fell in love with film. I had always loved watching movies for fun or for escapism, but never in an academic or critical setting. I was refreshed and couldn't get enough. I hadn't seen many movies and I usually only saw what was popular or in theaters or would just rewatch old favorites with good friends so it was pretty fantastic.

I decided by the end of freshman year that I was going to really devote myself to film studies. I would expand my film knowledge. I started my summer with a netflix subscription and a shit job washing dishes full time at an Italian restaurant. I decided that I needed to broaden my film repertoire so I watched as much film as I could that summer. Then, as much film as I could in the fall semester afterwards. Then, as much film as I could over that winter break. Then as much film as I could in the spring semester. I couldn't stop myself. I've been watching as much as I can ever since. Oh, and I've been making sure to keep track.

As I finished up my last semester I realized that I was getting dangerously close to a big number. I've finally reached it. Usually, I try to be modest as all hell, but this is one accomplishment I just have to be proud of.

I've seen over 1000 movies. 

I know it is just a number, but those four digits mean a whole lot to me. 

It is a sort of representation of all my work and effort to educate myself about film both in and out of school. These are movies seen with friends, with classmates, and lovers. Movies seen in theaters and in classrooms; in dark basements and living rooms. Movies seen through dreary rains, lazy summers, and frigid winters. Movies seen in best of times and the worst of times; at the most momentous of occasions and the dullest of days.

I just want to say thank you to anyone involved. If you have ever seen a film with me, or talked about film with me, or taught me something - anything - about film, thank you. If you've contributed to this milestone in any way at all, thank you so much. I've got a whole lot of memories of the first thousand, here's hoping the next thousand will be just as great.

-Jay

Episode 2: In Which Jay Learns What a Wasgij is and Meets the Flat.

Last time, on Keep Calm and Joust On:

Jay finally defeated the zombies, valiantly fought corporate copyright law, vigilantly cleaned up the streets, and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1 for the sixth or seventh time. It is still just as good as he remembered it to be.

The Lament of the Mighty Wasgij

Wasgij, noun: 1. The word jigsaw spelt backwards. 2. A 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, but the picture on the box depicts the events just preceding the picture of the completed puzzle and not the actual picture. The box picture acts as a context with hints and clues instead of a picture to be replicated. Pronunciation: wuz-jig. Origin: United Kingdom. 

Note: Wasgij puzzles are best used as tools to promote social interaction between an American student visiting New Zealand and his kiwi flatmates.

By employing the sacred ritual of Wasgij I have managed to successfully befriend the natives. At first they were wary of my presence but over time this initial ritual has lead to other initiation rituals. These rituals include such acts as hall-jousting with a scooter and a longboard, busting a move, grocery shopping, as well as watching movies and reality TV. The local favorite is the Jermey Kyle show: the UK equivalent of the Maury show. We gather daily to preform the Jermey Kyle Ritual and occasionally also to watch reality cooking shows (there is no Food Network here, so we make do). These "kiwi" people seem to accept me as their own, although they do occasionally question my foreign behavior and I do often rely on them to teach me their ways.

After waiting the initial few days, the whole flat finally arrived. Rachel, Briar, Ryan, Tom, and the-flatmate-formerly-known-as Josh. Our powers combined, we drink tea and get into shenanigans.  I got to the flat worried that things might not work out, but can honestly say that I am super lucky to have the best kiwi flatmates I could have asked for.

Speaking of which, I also made my own BBQ sauce.

-Jay