Film Review: Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters (2013)

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters Review!

Acting

Jeremy Renner was great as Hansel. Gemma Arterton was pretty  good as Gretel but tended to fall flat, especially in the second half of the film. Whenever she had to be a badass, she was a total badass. The witches were well cast but their dialogue was just plain awful, more on that later. The rest of the cast was mediocre at best, to be honest. The townspeople, the mayor, the sheriff and his goons, were all forgettable and barely worth noticing. Granted, this probably has a lot more to do with the writing than the actors themselves, but it is difficult to tell in this case.

Music

The music primarily consists of brooding and dark victorian gothic inspired tones but not much actually has much punch to it. The scoring was too simple and didn't take a single risk; it just wasn't interesting to listen to. The track "Business is Good" is probably the best and combines some great electric violin and guitar to the previously mentioned style. It reminds me of a some sort of iteration of the theme to the recent Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock films. Unfortunately, the rest of it is pretty much forgettable and only serves to add a vague sense of ambiance.

Cinematography (Visuals)

The opening credits were holy-damn-hold-my-popcorn good. The opening credits combine CGI and paper cut outs enacting a visual history of Hansel and Gretel's lives after they killed their first witch. This chronicles their journeys and exploits and helps to build the aura behind the characters. Additionally, if you happen to see the film in 3D, the paper cut outs have an added sense of depth and movement that is fantastic. I'd say this whole sequence is almost worth the price of admission. However, this is pretty much it in terms of cinematography: for the rest of the film the camera work is fairly bland, which was very disappointing. 

As a separate note, I need to talk about the visuals of the witches. Just wow. The make-up, costuming, and character design for the witches was incredible to behold but was entirely overlooked. All of the witches, not just the three main villains, were dynamic and different and had a very vicious Evil Dead sort of feel to them. They were appropriately terrifying and awesome. The idea behind the design is that the witches' deteriorate and become corrupt as they abuse their control over nature. And they actually control nature in really, really, cool ways: creating cages out of branches, manipulating animals, and even taking control of human limbs. Each witch has a wand, an organic mess of a wooden totem with gems and moss and organic material, as well a 'broom', which is really just a giant organically shaped branch of wood. The 'brooms' are not straight sticks, they are massive boughs of warped and unwieldily wood that just happen to allow flight. They are thematically linked to nature. The heroes are rigid and orderly but the witches are flowing and organic, even if evil. Most pop culture ideas of witches are tossed out the window in favor of older nature-based pagan ideas of witches. Probably the best part about the witches is that they are actually powerful. Early in the film, Hansel and Gretel fight one witch, not even a powerful one, and it is one hell of a fight - the witch is strong, fast, intelligent, and moves and fights in interesting ways. It is a pleasure to watch. Towards the end of the film, Hansel and Gretel must get magic to alter their weapons to effectively fight off multiple witches at the same time. Also at the end, a gathering of witches showcases some of the coolest creature designs and costume work I've seen in recent years. Some of them are almost Pan's Labyrinth level of creature design, and that is one of the highest compliments I can give.

Plot and Writing

Why did the plot have to suck so bad? This movie had so much going for it! Great design and visuals, an amazing concept but the plot falls flat on its face. The plot is simple and safe and short to fit an 90 minute format. The character design was actually pretty damn good, and the concepts behind the writing of the main characters was actually pretty solid. I loved the little twist that Hansel was a diabetic because the first witch force-fed him so much candy as a child. I'm sorry, but that is brilliant. Gretel was pretty suitably badass too. But, dear god the plot was awful. It was predictable, it was incredibly contrived, and had far too many convenient plot devices. It also moved too fast, there just seemed like there should have been more developed plot points. The thing is, I feel like the original screenplay must have been better than the presented one - the rest of the ideas behind it all were so good, I struggle to believe that the same person couldn't write something better and more coherent. The witches dialogue was terrible, even though I loved the witches design, their lines were atrocious and cringeworthy most of the time.

Overall

Fun to watch but very disappointing. The character and witch designs show some great talent that was betrayed, for some reason, by terrible writing. So many good underlying ideas entirely let down. I honestly think that this was once a much better and longer film that took a lot more risks than the studio higher ups were comfortable with. Especially if you pay attention to the epilogue, which seems to be from some sort of original and much more advanced storyline. Check out the opening credits sequence when someone puts it online, for sure. I'm not sure I can really recommend this film because of the writing. Honestly, can someone just rewrite this and try again?

Favorite Moment?

The opening to the final confrontation. Knowing that the witches are a powerful force, especially in large groups, Hansel approaches them gun in hand. They scoff at him and assume this is a mere act of hubris - they will not be harmed but such a weapon during the night and on the night of the fabled 'blood moon'. There is a moment of quiet tension as Hansel takes aim, the witch grins, and he shoots. At this point we do not know what will happen - there are actually a number of factors to make us outcome uncertain - but it turns out that the magically blessed bullets are strong enough to harm the witches. Not only that, but Hansel just shoots her in the face, the round explodes and there is only a squirting bloody stump of a neck left. A very satisfying kill to kick off a climactic and bloody gorefest. 

6/10

- Jay

Response: TESO Developer Question of the Week 7

Post is in response to this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=FwfCPaj5RJc

"What is your favorite memory from Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall?"

When I was very young and Daggerfall was fresh, I was not a gamer. My parents were adamant that their children would never play video games. Naturally, that meant that it was my mission to get my hands on video games whenever I had the chance. My neighbors, a family of gamers, became close friends and I would always scurry over after school or on the weekends to sit on the floor watch them play the all the video games my parents forbid. This was my introduction to Daggerfall and to the Elder Scrolls universe. As I watched them cut through hordes of enemies I would always cheer them on and try to be a little back seat gamer. Of course, I had no idea what I was talking about, so eventually they sat me down and gave me my very own brand new character to play. I was so excited and leaped into the game, flailing around with a one handed sword, easily killing my very first giant rats and bats. 

Then, I encountered my first skeletal warrior. 

Like I said, at the time, I was not a gamer. I had zero game sense and generally just flailed around until something died. The skeleton wrecked me. It easily cut me down and I was stunned. I had no idea what to do against an enemy with a shield and I distinctly remember trying everything I could, but still, dying every time. Looking back, it is a very easy fight, there isn't much to it. I was just bad. That skeleton, bless his soul, made me actually shape up and think about what I was doing in-game instead of just wildly swinging at air. I finally figured out how to kill it and could move on and that was incredibly satisfying. Ever since, in any game, although Elder Scrolls in particular, whenever I see a skeleton with a shield I charge at it with great gusto just to relive that satisfaction of rattling some bones. This one enemy has been pretty much a staple of almost every RPG….ever…so, this was something that always sort of stuck with me. Despite a huge range of diverse enemies, Elder Scrolls games always make room for some sort of skeleton with a shield for me to happily take down with a big smile on my face. For all that Daggerfall had to offer, my favorite memory of the game is still just overcoming that first difficult enemy which paved the road for all the bigger and badder enemies to come.

-Jay

Film Review: Pitch Perfect (2012)

Pitch Perfect Review!

This is a film that you could take one look at and dismiss easily…The posters, the trailer, the presentation - everything screams "crappy teen movie." Fortunately, this film is quite a bit smarter than that. This ain't no teen movie, this here is a college movie. A great taste in music music and fantastic humor writing do their best to save this film from its unfortunate flaws.

Acting

This film has the same pratfall as most college movies…None of the actors look like they're even close to being college freshmen. I'm in college. I was a freshmen and I see freshmen running around everyday. Who are they trying to fool? However, I will admit the acting was actually not terrible. This is usually the kind of movie that you take one look at the poster and can accurately guess it will completely forsake acting talent for musical talent but the acting was actually fairly solid. It was solid but in no way remarkable. I think the actors were decently talented but really were held back by poor development from writing that focuses a little too much on the comedy and not enough on character. The cast nails the humor perfectly, and the singing as well, but any acting based around character development is lacking.

Music

It is difficult to remark on the music of a film that is centered around music yet is not a musical. The music choices were mostly typical modern pop pieces but gained a flair for older songs as the film went on. There was a clear progression towards more diverse and complex remixed music. I think that there was a concious statement being made: every era has good music to use and play with but you need to play. This was…well done. Every song in the soundtrack was a-cappella, which was all arranged and sung with talent. Songs ranged from "Turn the Beat Around" and "Let's Talk About Sex" to "Don't You Forget About Me" and "Price Tag." And, yes, before you ask, I did sing along when Salt-N-Pepa came on. I am proud of this. The music choices were diverse and well thought out. The whole soundtrack feels like a love letter to teen movies' past in the best way possible.

Cinematography

The setting switches between dorms and stages and the camera has a distinct style for each. The dorms have a much more static, shot-reverse-shot type of mechanic that fits well. These are mundane, everyday life scenes, and the cinematography matches to great effect. These scenes act as a foil to the glamourous sweeping shots of the a-cappella competitions. Performances are given a sense of grandeur and glitter by having much more complex camera movement. This juxtaposition really highlights the fact that these kids (I use the term loosely) really live for the stage and for performing. For the most part, it was very coherent too: these camera themes held throughout the film and the stage-scenes only got more grand as the film progressed. The only scene that really stuck out as a sore thumb was a scene towards the end of the film: Beca confronts her father in his house. The cinematography is awkwardly dynamic. I understand that the house was a new space to explore but it seemed to have too much camera movement for a non-stage scene which ruined the coherence of the cinematography and, personally, ruined my immersion in the film.

Plot and Writing

The plot is as basic and as predictable as can be. The character development is limited and Anna Kendrick (Beca) does better than I would expect, yet is still fairly lackluster. Sadly, she can't be Stacey Pilgrim every time. The one brilliant saving grace for the writing is the humor. While some of it is cheesy "a-ca-jokes" I was blown away by the fantastic jokes and one-liners, usually coming from Fat Amy. Most modern comedy films like to have some humorous element of the grotesque, and I mean that descriptively not as an insult, but rarely does it actually work. Here, Fat Amy makes the statement that the writers were totally aware of this and played to the strengths of this character. She openly refers to herself as Fat Amy, if that is any indication. The "best beat-boxer in Tasmania" is the sole driving force that keeps the film interesting and funny when it, honestly, does not have much else going for it. Rebel Wilson (Amy) just has flawless delivery and really brings out the best the writers had to offer. If only the writing was able to balance the more serious moments better, this would be a very different film.

Overall

Great music and great humor but the film did suffer from lack luster acting and writing. I really (really) liked that the film actually had a message greater than itself: it is ok to play with music. If you play, you will explore and will find new and great ways to create something worthwhile. Beca's whole DJ subplot combined with this greater message seems directed right at remix culture, whispering, "dude, keep mixing!" And, well, I am a big fan of that.

Favorite Moment?

Generally, I loved every line from Fat Amy. Rebel Wilson is fantastic and the film is worth a watch just for her flawless timing and delivery.

Bumper: "I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or an incorrect feeling?"

Fat Amy: "Well... sometimes I have the feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmmmm... better not."

7/10

- Jay

Creative Work: Green

This is meant to be performed as a spoken word piece and is open a wide variety of spoken interpretations.

Green

Fresh pine needles hanging taught the smell of sticky sap grass stains on knees and jeans the color that springs from the earth leaves on trees in the summer time I'm free an explorer what a truck '92 never blue when I cruise to Marky Mark and his crew on a duct tape deck with old glowing displays driving down roads with trees crowding each side the leaves so vivid after fresh summer rain camouflaged in plain sight behind gardens running into forests escaping from wardens but now we scout because bottom rusted out and green is a shell that life starts to smell it's going to hell these thoughts I repel because I dwell in my cell so yell to show that you still remember that color Green.

- Jay

Creative Work: Eulogy for Angel Yates

A brief explanation: This is my own tribute to a young artist and poet who died long before her time. Angel Yates was pronounced dead after a steady decline in health characterized by extreme fatigue and exhaustion. I never got to meet her in person but her work really spoke to me during a rough time in life. This one's for you kid.

Eulogy for Angel Yates

I'm just a traveler here.

I wished for a new life,

for painted stories,

new friends,

dancing away my strife.

I'm just a prisoner here.

Although I'm free in mind,

bound by remorse

so sweet 

that willingly I see blind.

I'm just a sinner here.

I'll tell you anything I can.

Strange fascinations,

enticing,

Lies we'll spread across the land.

I'm just a watcher here.

Read words from far away.

Thoughts collide and shatter

and echo

and glitter and decay.

I'm just uncertain here.

Ethereal truths we built

to spark thunderous

applause 

but the thought inspires guilt.

I'm just a dreamer here,

Imagining her rhyme:

"I'll leap through air, and

if I die,

It's only in my mind."

She was a dreamer here.

Pixel skies never strange,

even when torn by

hurricane;

frozen dreams never change.

-Jay

Film Review: Django Unchained (2012)

Django Unchained Review!

Quentin Tarantino is a brilliant director and I love his style and panache. More importantly, though, I trust him. I completely trust Tarantino to sit me down and tell me a story and I know that what ever story it is he has thought it through and has carefully crafted it with a painful amount of neurotic detail. I don't think that Django Unchained was his best work, but it is still a phenomenal film and definitely has that Tarantino watermark of quality seeping through each and every scene. This film is beautiful and brutal and gorgeous and gory and by now we should expect nothing less from Tarantino. 

Acting: One day Quentin Tarantino woke up and must have thought "I wonder how badass I can make Jamie Foxx look?" And thus this film was born. Well, not actually. Not at all, really, but that thought makes me happy. Foxx was a total badass and displayed some of his best acting to date, a huge amount of boldness and flexibility, especially during the scenes at and in transit towards Candyland Ranch. Also, the interactions between Django and his wife seemed to be almost entirely devoted to just making Django as over-the-top-badass as possible. Jamie Foxx had a great performance, no doubt, but I felt like he could just not quite compete with the rest of the stunning cast. Christoph Waltz is just such an entirely interesting man: his voice, his manner, and his character meshed together in such a way that you can't help fall in love with him a little bit more than you already did after watching Inglorious Basterds. He is well deserving of the Golden Globe he won and I look forward to his success at the Oscars. Speaking of awards, if there was ever a joint acting award, Leo DiCaprio  and Sam Jackson would get it because they were just great together. I just want to give them both a great big award for their performances in this film. They just worked and had great chemistry together and I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio should have started being cast in Tarantino flicks a LONG time ago. The character he created and his command over the canter of his own voice was like no role he's played before and I get the feeling that Tarantino really teased Mr. Candy out of him.

Music: Tarantino, as always, knows his music. The man has become fairly famous for the soundtrack choices he makes in all his films and here is no different. I'd say the best track work he ever did was Kill Bill Vol. 1 (Nancy Sinatra's "Bang Bang" is simply gorgeous) with Pulp Fiction as a close second. I actually still have the Pulp Fiction soundtrack on cassette. Proud moment, realizing that. The main theme for Django is beautiful and powerful and exactly the kind of track I'd expect Tarantino to put in this film. There is some controversy over the Rick Ross song "100 Black Coffins" that was used - a hard and rough gangster rap bit. In a film full of beautiful and melodic music it stands as a sharp contrast and highlights part of modern black culture that most people try to turn away from. It seems counter-intuitive: Tarantino wants to have brutal violence juxtaposed with melody and this rap doesn't seem to fit the bill. However, I think that this whole film is an exploration of the figure of the black man in American culture - not a glorification, not a peek through a rosy looking glass, but an honest look - and I am proud of Tarantino for having the balls to include a risky song. As a cool bit of trivia: "100 Black Coffins" was actually Jamie Foxx's idea and there is a neat interview about that (http://www.vibe.com/node/137771). I think the rap works with the overall theme and messages of the film even if it does clash with the rest of the audio aesthetic.

Cinematography: The cinematography gave us a great view of the American south, a place that is not terribly difficult to make look good. Each location was typically well shot but there were a few scenes that really stood out to me. The opening sequence in the dark woods was wonderful, trees lit with sharp back-lighting made gnarled frames for the slaves to hobble past, breathing white breath into the visibly cold air. The funeral scene towards the end featured a great tree and bursts of sunlight streaming through its branches and the light silhouetted the funeral party in a massive wide angle shot. Another favorite shot of mine was the scene where Django fires on Big Daddy as he attempts to flee the raid: the camera swoops low and follows the body as it falls from its horse. Finally, the most striking single shot was a close-up of blood spattered cotton. It was so simple and so beautiful and so honest. It really stuck out for me.

Plot and Writing: Once again, the writing, like everything else, is quintessential Tarantino. I feel that the ending sequence with Samuel L. Jackson's death was exceptional. By and far the best written part of the film was the opening sequence where Dr. Schultz buys Django from a pair of slavers. The writing is tense and controlled and Schultz, played by Waltz, immediately proves his character's worth and intrigue by subtly playing by every rule of pre-civil war America. The careful focus on laws, legitimate sales, and proof of sale receipt is fantastically controlled and undermined by Schultz's sage advice to the remaining slaves which boiled down to: either be good slaves or be bad men. Throughout the film, Schultz' writing and lines really drive the dialogue and plot until he passes the torch, in a way, to DiCaprio's character. Then, once Mr. Candy has no more lines, Django picks that bloodied torch up from off the ground and delivers that final scene with Steven. The whole screenplay really takes its time and effort to show Django the way to find his own voice so he can articulate and speak out with words so powerful that they are just as effective as the bullets he shoots.

Overall: I feel like a broken record, I'm just singing praises for this film left and right, but I really feel like there is not much that could have been improved upon. Some complain about the film being too long, honestly I felt it wasn't long enough and there were still a few small strings to tie that might end up in a director's cut (like that one female thug who was never explained but was filmed to stick out). My only real criticism is that Django Unchained just doesn't quite have the same "umph" or heart as Tarantino's earlier work. All the familiar Tarantino-isms are there, the film was beautifully written and a treat to look at, but there is just some X-factor missing. The faint feeling that it could have been just a bit…more… but it wasn't quite.

Favorite Moment? Easily my favorite moment of the film is KKK pre-raid banter scene. Tarantino has a brilliant precedent for writing in scenes that are completely irreverent but provide fantastic texture to his films. This scene features Jonah Hill in a perfect role along with a small legion of dim witted racist hillbillies arguing about the eye-holes of their masks. The point Tarantino makes is that this otherwise faceless and intimidating gang is actually just a bunch of average guys that just so happen to be a lynch mob. In every other scene they are just a mob (a-là Illinois Nazis), but here they are given a unique opportunity to have a personality. The scene is reminiscent of the diner scene of Reservoir Dogs where a bunch of average guys, who happen to be brutal and violent thugs, are given a greater depth as they argue over the ethics and merits of tipping the waitress. Both scenes are irrelevant, plot wise, but hold a powerful effect developing the film with a very Tarantino texture. 

9/10

- Jay